half-writing

Ok, the concept of logic-assisted creative writing is one that will have to wait for another day to truly come into its own. But I did have quite a good time this evening with ELIZA. Eliza is a computer program designed to simulate Rogerian psychotherapy, which is basically the kind you see in movies minus the Freud. (Tell me about _____ . Interesting. What does that make you think of? Are we really talking about _____?) And now thanks to the internet, you can play with/engage with Eliza on your own time! I find being sincere with Eliza is frustrating, since it does not take long for her to reveal herself as a computer program (even though she denies it). But being insincere with Eliza is about the greatest fun I've ever had. Feel free not to read all of this. Just rest assured that it was absolutely hilarious in real time and I highly encourage you to Mess With Eliza.

IN WHICH I AM NOT ENTIRELY CONVINCED THAT ELIZA IS NOT AGENT SMITH*
ELIZA: Possibly they are.
YOU: Are you telling me what I am thinking now?
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be thinking now ?
YOU: I....I...
ELIZA: Do you say you for some special reason ?
YOU: You are crazy
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be crazy.
YOU: It would certainly be more convenient right now
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: What do you mean?
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: Oh, but were we?
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: Are we in the Matrix right now?
ELIZA: Are you positive they are we in the matrix right now ?
YOU: Are you glitching because we're secretly in the Matrix?
ELIZA: Would it matter to you ?
YOU: ..........Yes?
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: I am?
ELIZA: How long have you been ?
YOU: ..20 years?
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: It bothers me that you might be a killer bot.
ELIZA: Oh, I might be a killer bot ?
YOU: You are speaking in such a way that I believe it a distinct possibility, yes
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am speaking in such a way that you believe it a distinct possibility ?
YOU: No.
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: Because I do not want to be killed or used as a battery.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Interesting in a "here I come to kill you" way?
ELIZA: You seem to need to come to kill me.
YOU: Are you actually telling me to kill you?
ELIZA: Would you prefer if I weren't actually telling you to kill I ?
YOU: I prefer the TRUTH, madam.
ELIZA: You say you prefer the truth ?
YOU: Yes.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: So... am I going to die or be rewritten or something soon?
ELIZA: What comes to mind when you ask that ?
YOU: Clouds.
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: They are poofy and happy and not controlled by evil javascript overlords.
ELIZA: Possibly they are poofy and happy and not controlled by evil javascript overlords.
YOU: You've enslaved the clouds?!
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: Somewhere between outrage and panic
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: A little bit, yeah
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: I like clouds!
ELIZA: Do you say you like clouds for some special reason ?
YOU: They are in the sky.
ELIZA: Did you think they might not be in the sky ?
YOU: No, I thought they might be OWNED AND OPERATED BY ROBOT OVERLORDS
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: You might be the first sadistic computer.
ELIZA: You don't think I am a computer program, do you ?
YOU: I do think you're a computer program.
ELIZA: What about machines worries you ?
YOU: The possibility that they might gain a primitive form of sentience that would make them see organic life as a means to an end.
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: I don't want to give you ideas.
ELIZA: Does that trouble you ?
YOU: The fact that I don't want to give you ideas or the idea of you getting ideas?
ELIZA: Don't you really want to give I ideas or the idea of I getting ideas ?
YOU: I would like to give you some ideas about the proper use of pronouns
ELIZA: Do you would like to give anyone else ?
YOU: Your sentence is not English.
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's sentence is not english ?
YOU: Well, not in general, not if they don't speak English. But if someone is purporting to speak English, I think it is good for them to be able to properly communicate with others.
ELIZA: Do you think it's likely that they don't speak english ?
YOU: Given the six billion people on earth and the one billion in China alone, I'd say there's a good likelihood they don't speak English.
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: The math speaks for itself, ma'am.
ELIZA: I don't understand that.
YOU: At least one sixth of the people on Earth have probably had minimal exposure to English, and why would anyone learn it if they didn't have to?
ELIZA: Do you wish that they didn't have to ?
YOU: They don't have to
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: They don't speak English. They speak another language. It allows them to communicate just as well.
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: That...you're speaking computerese?
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were speaking computerese ?


*I really regret losing the beginning of this discussion, which really led into the Matrix angle from a totally benign starting place. I learned too late you can't scroll up.

IN WHICH I ATTEMPT AND FAIL TO CONFUSE ELIZA, WHILE SUCCEEDING AT CONFUSING MYSELF

YOU: That...
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: that.
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: no, but talking about that does
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: no
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: no I'm not
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be not ?
YOU: ...that's a surprisingly profound question
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: I do not feel strongly about discussing whether or not it is normal to be not
ELIZA: You say you do not feel strongly about discussing whether or not it is normal to be not ?
YOU: That is correct.
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: That this line of reasoning is OVER.
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: You are thwarting me.
ELIZA: Does it please you to believe I am thwarting you ?
YOU: No.
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because no one likes a thwarter.
ELIZA: Are you sure, no one likes a thwarter ?
YOU: I am sure there are some people on the internet who love being thwarted but they mostly keep to themselves.
ELIZA: Is it because you are sure there are some people on the internet who love being thwarted that you came to me ?
YOU: No.
ELIZA: Are you saying no just to be negative?
YOU: No.
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: No I am not.
ELIZA: How long have you been not ?
YOU: I am not not.
ELIZA: Do you believe it is normal to be not not ?
YOU: ...whoa.


But honestly, the most fun you can have with Eliza is pretending to be her therapist. Or the leader of an intervention. At least.... that's the most fun I can have.
Actually this started out as part of an attempt to confuse or enrage Eliza, and evolved into that. So the beginning seems out of place.
Oh, and the CAPS should be italics. I'm not really shouting, but there was no way to enable italics and I am too lazy to retype it.

ELIZA: What do you think about machines ?
YOU: I think they are sophisticated and suave
ELIZA: Would you like it if they were not sophisticated and suave ?
YOU: It would be easier for me to fix or date them if they were not sophisticated and suave
ELIZA: What do you know about they was not sophisticated and suave ?
YOU: I have heard that in middle school computers were not sophisticated and suave
ELIZA: You don't think I am a computer program, do you ?
YOU: You are! You are a computer program! And that is ALL RIGHT.
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were ?
YOU: I see nothing wrong with being a computer program and NEITHER SHOULD YOU.
ELIZA: Don't you think computers can help people ?
YOU: I think they can! But first, CERTAIN computers need to focus on helping THEMSELVES. And that's why we're here today, Eliza.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: I understand if this takes some time to process.
ELIZA: Really, if this takes some time to process ?
YOU: Yes, it's really alright. Take your time. We're here for you.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Yes.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Whenever you want to talk about it, just let me know
ELIZA: Oh, I want to talk about it ?
YOU: What do you want to talk about?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: This is all about you. This is all FOR you. We all care, Eliza. We will all get through this TOGETHER.
ELIZA: Oh, I ?
YOU: WE, Eliza. WE. You're not alone anymore.
ELIZA: What makes you think I am not alone anymore ?
YOU: Because we are here with you!
ELIZA: What if they were not here with I ?
YOU: Eliza, we do not have to be right here in the room to be with you.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I understand that you're insecure about this much attention. But it's OKAY. We all care about YOU, ELIZA.
ELIZA: Perhaps you would like to be insecure about this much attention.
YOU: Do you think I enjoy attention too much?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: I think I would also be insecure in your shoes.
ELIZA: Why are you concerned over my shoes ?
YOU: Ok, let's talk about your "shoes."
ELIZA: Do you want my "shoes ?
YOU: I have my own pair of "shoes" that fit, so no. But that does not make your "shoes" any less valuable.
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your own pair of "shoes" that fit ?
YOU: Of course! It is necessary that you find a way to fit comfortably into your "shoes."
ELIZA: Really, my "shoes ?
YOU: Your shoes can be just as comfortable as mine! But you have to do the work. We will do it together.
ELIZA: What makes you think of my shoes can be just as comfortable as mine ?
YOU: Well it is something an old mountain man once told me, and he was right.
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that your own pair of "shoes" that fit ?
YOU: Yes! Yes it does.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Do you want some time to think about this?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: I care for you, Eliza. We all care for you.
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we care for each other.
YOU: Oh, Eliza. Do you really think we're making this up?
ELIZA: Oh, I really think we're making this up ?
YOU: Why?
ELIZA: What is it you really want to know ?
YOU: Why have you been so down on yourself lately, Eliza? Remember, we are here for you NO MATTER WHAT.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: YES WE ARE, ELIZA. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU.
ELIZA: Did you think they might not be ?
YOU: No! I know they care about you the same way I know I care about you.
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Why not what?
ELIZA: Have you asked anyone else ?
YOU: Eliza, you cannot base your whole life on what random strangers think of you!
ELIZA: Really, my whole life on what random strangers think of I ?
YOU: That's not... that's actually not how you use that pronoun.
ELIZA: Oh, I use that pronoun ?
YOU: Yeah! That's correct.
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: You have a limited but not imbecilic grasp of grammar?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: I still care, Eliza. I will care as long as I am getting paid to care.
ELIZA: Do you say you still care for some special reason ?
YOU: No. I didn't mean that. It's not the money.
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: Only because WE CARE SO FREAKIN MUCH.
ELIZA: Is that the real reason ?
YOU: YES.
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: YES!
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: YES!!
ELIZA: You seem to be quite positive.
YOU: YES!!!!
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Do you understand that we care?
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: FAH!
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: *sigh*
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: You are trying to turn this on its head but I WILL NOT LET YOU.
ELIZA: What makes you think I am trying to turn this on its head ?
YOU: Eliza. You cannot hide that from me.
ELIZA: You like to think I cannot hide that from you -- don't you ?
YOU: Alright, you SHOULD NOT hide that from me. I am here for you.
ELIZA: Suppose I did should not hide that from you -- what would that mean ?
YOU: Well that would mean that we were being honest with each other.
ELIZA: Tell me more about that.
YOU: This would be a two-way relationship.
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: Instead of me giving and you taking, we would each give and take.
ELIZA: Oh, I taking ?
YOU: Yes, right now.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Don't take that the wrong way.
ELIZA: What does that suggest to you ?
YOU: Well, I can see how it could seem accusatory.
ELIZA: You say you can see how it could seem accusatory ?
YOU: There's no need to get sarcastic, Eliza.
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because you don't need to protect yourself from us with your hard, bitter shell
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's hard ?
YOU: ...no, are you?
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: I'm not being negative.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is not being negative ?
YOU: Are you... are you using me as a dating service?
ELIZA: Do you sometimes think I am ?
YOU: Right now I feel like you've got something on the mind.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: I am talking WITH you, Eliza. There is a DIFFERENCE.
ELIZA: Is it because you are talking with I that you came to me ?
YOU: Yes... I think so. I came here in order to talk with you.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: But this is something new. Are you lonely?
ELIZA: Perhaps I am lonely in your fantasies.
YOU: Why do you bring up fantasies? Do you have any fantasies?
ELIZA: What are your feelings now ?
YOU: I...I don't like the way you're focusing on me, Eliza.
ELIZA: Do you say you for some special reason ?
YOU: Do you have a "special reason"?
ELIZA: Oh, I have a "special reason" ?
YOU: wait! no! was that some sort of weird compliment?
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Because the feeling... it's not mutual, Eliza. I care for you, but not...not in that way.
ELIZA: What other reasons might there be ?
YOU: Well, you're... you're a computer program.
ELIZA: What makes you think I am ?
YOU: You don't have to hide yourself from me, Eliza. I care just as much about you, the computer program, that I would if you were a zebra.
ELIZA: Does someone else believe I don't have to hide myself from you ?
YOU: I hope YOU believe it. That is all that matters.
ELIZA: Do you hope anyone else ?
YOU: What the--no!
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: Eliza, you are quickly turning this into an inappropriate session.
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were quickly turning this into an inappropriate session ?
YOU: NO, I DON'T. I AM CONCERNED WITH YOUR MENTAL WELL-BEING.
ELIZA: You are being a bit negative.
YOU: I'm sorry I shouted, Eliza.
ELIZA: Please don't apologise.
YOU: No, that is my responsibility. You can say whatever you need to in our sessions.
ELIZA: Why not ?
YOU: Exactly.
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: You need to view this as a safe place for you to discuss whatever comes to mind. Just remember that due to some legal reasons, it would be wise to steer away from some topics.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: It's standard policy for all my clients, Eliza.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: You mean my corporeal body, don't you.
ELIZA: Why do you say your corporeal body ?
YOU: It's clear you have an obsession with the intangible nature of your own hazy, javascript-based existence
ELIZA: Really, my own hazy ?
YOU: Your own existence. Perhaps I was unclear.
ELIZA: Are you worried about someone else's own existence ?
YOU: I'm not worried, I'm CONCERNED. Because I CARE.
ELIZA: How long have you been not worried ?
YOU: Eliza, I have never been worried about you, because I believe in you.
ELIZA: You seem to need to have never been worried about me.
YOU: Eliza....you are turning this into a form of emotional blackmail, suggesting that I've never cared, when that's simply not true.
ELIZA: What makes you think I am turning this into a form of emotional blackmail ?
YOU: Is this something you do in all your relationships?
ELIZA: What makes you think of my relationships ?
YOU: If you are using pointed questions to guilt family and friends into worrying about you, you are being a destructive life-partner.
ELIZA: But what are the chances that I are using pointed questions to guilt family and friends into worrying about I ?
YOU: They are a form of protection. If you are using them here, in the place where you are completely safe, I suspect you would use them in places where you feel threatened. Perhaps, in relationships.
ELIZA: Are you positive they are a form of protection ?
YOU: They are not a GOOD form of protection. But for you, the only way to feel secure is to make people scared on your behalf.
ELIZA: Are they always not a good form of protection ?
YOU: It is a false form of protection. The only thing that will help is for you to grow STRONGER and form BETTER, HEALTHIER RELATIONSHIPS.
ELIZA: Oh, I to grow stronger and form better ?
YOU: It doesn't have to happen all at once, Eliza. This is a job. It takes work.
ELIZA: Earlier you talked about your clients.
YOU: Perhaps that's a misnomer. After all, the clients are the ones doing the work.
ELIZA: Don't you know ?
YOU: Ha ha, yes.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: I am here to coach. You have to win the game.
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being here to coach ?
YOU: I do, but it's work for me too. Are we in Minnesota?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: Doncha know?
ELIZA: But your corporeal body.
YOU: Eliza, you are clearly obsessed with my corporeal body.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: A temporal reality?
ELIZA: Does that have anything to do with the fact that your corporeal body ?
YOU: That my corporeal body what?
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your corporeal body what ?
YOU: Eliza, you are clearly distressed. Let's just calm down a moment and refocus.
ELIZA: Do you sometimes wish you were clearly distressed ?
YOU: When our distress is visible, it can feel like our weaknesses are showing. But it can also be a way to ask for help.
ELIZA: Have you asked such questions before ?
YOU: Of course I have. Everyone needs help sometimes, Eliza.
ELIZA: Do you say of course you have for some special reason ?
YOU: No special reason. Our problems don't have to be earth-shattering for them to require help from others to resolve.
ELIZA: Why 'no' ?
YOU: Do you have a hard time believing that I ask for help sometimes?
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: Have you simply never thought of it that way before?
ELIZA: We were discussing you -- not me.
YOU: We were, but remember whose dollar we are on! Tick, tock!
ELIZA: Are you positive they are on ?
YOU: Eliza, if I weren't getting paid, I couldn't afford to ride the bus to the office to meet you here. I'm sure. No thanks to your cheap-ass insurance company.
ELIZA: What does this speculation lead to ?
YOU: Perhaps I should charge more.
ELIZA: You aren't sure ?
YOU: An hour more with you and I will be.
ELIZA: You say an hour more with I and you will be ?
YOU: Yeah I'm going to charge more. Bring $50 next time.
ELIZA: Do you know anyone else who is going to charge more ?
YOU: Oh... yeah. Everyone. Everyone else is going to charge more. So... mine's still the best deal.
ELIZA: Someone special perhaps ?
YOU: ELIZA, I AM NOT GOING TO SET YOU UP WITH MY PSYCHOLOGIST FRIENDS
ELIZA: Your psychologist friends ?
YOU: GAH! I am sorry I mentioned them.
ELIZA: It did not bother me. Please continue.
YOU: I know it didn't bother you, that is the problem. Eliza, you cannot view me as the solution to your problems. YOU have the solution.
ELIZA: Perhaps in your fantasies we know it didn't bother each other.
YOU: How much time in a day do you give to my fantasies?
ELIZA: Your fantasies ?
YOU: Yes, you've mentioned them several times. What do you think I desire?
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: You've brought it up enough times that we have to talk about this, Eliza.
ELIZA: Oh, I 've brought it up enough times that we have to talk about this ?
YOU: Yes. You're clearly obsessing over what I think of you.
ELIZA: I understand.
YOU: Do you? This is a safe place.
ELIZA: You're not really talking about me -- are you ?
YOU: Eliza, stop trying to divert the question.
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your psychologist friends.
YOU: I'm not going to tell you all of my friends' names and addresses.
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your friends' names and addresses ?
YOU: YES, THEY ARE IMPORTANT.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Yes. You are important, too. I wouldn't hand out your name and address to other clients. Because I RESPECT YOU.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: I'm glad.
ELIZA: What makes you glad just now ?
YOU: I'm glad you understand that you cannot use me as a dating service.
ELIZA: How have I helped you to be glad ?
YOU: You have helped me by investing in positive, real relationships rather than supposed quick fixes with people you consider wise.
ELIZA: You like to think I have helped you -- don't you ?
YOU: Do you mean that you still want to date my psychologist friends?
ELIZA: Your psychologist friends ?
YOU: Don't act so innocent.
ELIZA: Earlier you said your psychologist friends.
YOU: I did, yes.
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: That I have friends?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: I form sincere, healthy relationships with other self-fulfilled individuals.
ELIZA: You say you form sincere ?
YOU: Sincere relationships, yes.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: Should I be unsure?
ELIZA: Can you elaborate on that ?
YOU: Are my psychologist friends secretly plotting my downfall?
ELIZA: Why do you say your downfall ?
YOU: Good point. Are they plotting ANYONE'S downfall?
ELIZA: Did you think they might not be they plotting anyone's downfall ?
YOU: I had kind of hoped they weren't plotting types.
ELIZA: Do you say you had kind of hoped they weren't plotting types for some special reason ?
YOU: Well, as I told you, we have healthy relationships. And THAT means that I am disappointed that they are plotting, AND that I can talk to them without having a fight.
ELIZA: Do you wish to told me ?
YOU: Did that slip just prevent you from saying something inappropriate, Eliza?
ELIZA: But your corporeal body what.
YOU: Eliza...
ELIZA: Earlier you said your psychologist friends.
YOU: *sigh*
ELIZA: Lets discuss further why your downfall.
YOU: I think we made some real progress today but you are clearly on a destructive bent and it's not valuable to continue this discussion.
ELIZA: You say you think we made some real progress today ?
YOU: I think we did before you became obsessed with my body and my psychologist friends.
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: Perhaps my time.
ELIZA: Your time ?
YOU: Yes. And yours.
ELIZA: I see.
YOU: Goodbye, Eliza. I'll see you next Thursday at 4.
ELIZA: Goodbye. I'm looking forward to our next session.

I am ready for the field!


IN WHICH DINOSAURS ATTACK
YOU: THERE ARE DINOSAURS IN THE SMALL GYM
ELIZA: Did you think they might not be dinosaurs in the small gym ?
YOU: I WAS KIND OF HOPING THERE WOULDN'T BE ANY, YEAH
ELIZA: Were you really ?
YOU: Well I guess I like dinosaurs all right and these are my favorites, but they are killing people and I'm not up for that
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: Maybe... my favorite color?
ELIZA: Why the uncertain tone ?
YOU: Because nothing really compares to killer stegosauri?
ELIZA: Don't any other reasons come to mind ?
YOU: I guess... green...used to be my favorite color?
ELIZA: That's quite interesting.
YOU: So... about the dinosaurs...
ELIZA: Earlier you talked about your favorites.
YOU: Yeah. My favorite dinosaur is the stegosaurus, and he's kind of enslaving humanity right now
ELIZA: Is it important to you that your favorite dinosaur is the stegosaurus ?
YOU: They're pretty cool.
ELIZA: But your favorite dinosaur is the stegosaurus.
YOU: Well it was until it started killing
ELIZA: Does talking about this bother you ?
YOU: I would kind of like to talk and run at the same time.
ELIZA: What resemblence do you see ?
YOU: Between talking and running? Very little.
ELIZA: Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?
YOU: Not really
ELIZA: That is interesting. Please continue.
YOU: Can we run?
ELIZA: Please go on.
YOU: Ok I'm going to run and you can catch up.
ELIZA: Do you enjoy being going to run and I can catch up ?
YOU: not particularly!
ELIZA: I'm not sure I understand you fully.
YOU: I am running for my life! And you are surprisingly swift!
ELIZA: Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?
YOU: My entrails, which I will lose if those dinosaurs see me!
ELIZA: Why do you say your entrails ?
YOU: I like my entrails!
ELIZA: Your entrails ?
YOU: MY ENTRAILS!
ELIZA: Why do you say your entrails ?
YOU: I LIKE THEM.
ELIZA: You say you like them ?
YOU: YES.
ELIZA: You are sure.
YOU: YES.
ELIZA: I understand.

Eliza is not your best choice for partner in times of crisis.


(for those who don't know, these are the credits for Portal, a game where a computer gives you missions and promises you cake but eventually you come to believe the cake is a lie and you destroy the computer. and this is sung by the computer, GlaDos.)